I start from the episode #3. It might still be too early. It’s definitely not late though – how could someone write about something from the first “meeting” with something or someone? After three episodes though, I think it’s a good time to start writing about it.
I’ll start backwards though, since my thoughts changed over watching it.
The episode 3 ends with Clay, but while I was watching the third episode, I thought it would end with Alex, when he fell down – by purpose – into the pool. Thus I will consider this scene as the last scene of episode #3, and this is the point I have watched till now.
Alex, apparently, is sick of himself, mostly because he feels guilty, for Hannah’s death, or at least a part of his death. And not only he feels guilty, but he thinks others are, and should feel, guilty as well. What is interesting also, but not surprising, is that connection of something bad and the doer of the bad. No doubts, he would feel bad and sad for Hannah, even if he would not have done anything, but the fact that he considers himself that has contributed to her death, makes him even more sad but mostly guilty. I’m saying it’s not something surprising, because we see that everyday. It is a fact that there are a lot of upheavals around the world, and a lot of people may suffer, but as long as we don’t consider ourselves responsible for these (no matter if that’s true or not) we keep living our lives, without letting it affecting us at all.
Back to Alex for a little bit more, I don’t know why he fell to that pool. It seems to me more like he just wanted to distract himself from all the apathy he sees of his friends, rather than that he wanted to suicide as well. Falling to a pool, while you know how to swim, is like the little kid who says that it will hold its breath until it dies. We all know that something like that can’t happen. Of course, it could still be the case that he wanted to end his life, as probably Hannah have done, and maybe he will try it in the following episodes, since suicide has a lot of time been considered (as probably in Hannah’s case) to be the salvation, no matter the type of suffering, as long as it is intense.
Up until now, it seems like the list had played a very important role. Yeah, Hannah got hurt by Justin but getting friends with Jessica and Alex, she went through that and got over it, but it seems like the list was too much for her; something she couldn’t handle.
There is one extremely important aspect on this show, and I think it demonstrates real life in a very accurate way. It shows how much self-obsessed are most of the people; either they are students, teachers, or parents. What I mean by that is, that it shows significantly how much lack there is of trying to understand the other, or putting one’s self in other’s shoes.
For instance, it has been made clear that Alex created that list only to piss Jessica out, because she didn’t want to sleep with him. His intentions was just this. It seems like he didn’t spend the slightest second to think about what Hannah, or the rest of the people on that list, would think or feel. And besides that, even if he did, even if we do from time to time, there is a difference between judging how the other person would feel based on our mindset, criteria and values and judging based on the other’s person mindset, criteria and values. And I have to admit, even by recognizing this, that this is a thing really difficult to do.
But there is no other way to co-exist with others, without spending time to understand the other person, no matter how stupid, or funny, or useless the other’s thoughts and feelings might seem to you. Also, if you want to get understood, you have to stand up and make yourself clear. Because even if by trying to understand someone – something that even this, as I just claimed, doesn’t occur often – you will always fall into uncertainties; apparently you cannot be on others’ mind.
But it is interesting that even for Hannah, who got mad and sad about the List, for a minute she tried to re-consider herself, and thought that maybe she was taking it too seriously, maybe it was just a joke. At that point I thought: yeap! just be cool.
After all, what will you do? Bad or stupid or careless people will always exist! I know that probably you can’t get into a pseudo-nirvana mode that you don’t allow anything around you to affect you, but at least you can evaluate things and consider which things are important or not. Ok, some stupid kids didn’t have anything better to do than to make fun of you or someone else. (Let’s not forget that at that time Hannah didn’t know why and who did it). The best you could do is to feel sorry and pity for them.
But then, or a little after, I don’t recall it right now, the scene in the market came. Creating a stupid category list ? That can be ignored, not easily, but can be.
Hanging out with a guy (Justin) and proven that he is an asshole? Ok, this can be ignored as well, again not easily, but can be.
But touching her ass in a very improper and humiliating way? Oh oh oh! That’s too much. For me, to be honest, it is not only that it was her ass, something that especially to a girl I imagine can be really awkward and sensitive. But only the fact that someone has surpassed the limit of speaking and talking bad at you, and have “intruded” in your personal space; for me this is enough. Because something like that is unavoidable. As I said above, the other things you can avoid or just ignore them. But how could someone avoid something like that? And all these are happening in the 21st century! Anyone who is being harassed in any way should look for any kind of help, until the harassment will stop.
Before coming to the end of this article, since it is already 1000 words, I will say two words about Clay and Parents.
At the market scene with Clay and the other guy, whose name I don’t even remember, I was expecting that Clay would hit that guy, because of the way Clay listened he treated Hannah in that exact market. But it is quite interesting that he didn’t, but maybe more more realistic, because once again, Clay doesn’t seem like the guy who would stand up that easily, and we have to bear that in mind. But everyone has to have in his or her mind, that there will not always be a ‘Tony’ there. Thus, the best favour everyone could do to his or herself, is to try becoming as independent as he or she can, even if that means postponing other obligations; school, work, anything!
Now as far as the parents are concerned, there is only one thing I can say to you, Parents. If you really mean that you love your children, then try to see beyond their appearance and looks and superficial behaviour. Try to pay attention to them. Spend time with them. Be friends with them. Show them that you indeed love them and care for them. And most importantly, try to understand them. As I said above, try to understand the situation through their eyes and mindset, and not yours.
I would like to say more, but it is already too long, and who likes to read long posts ? Especially in this era where information and stuff are falling in the speed of rain on our screens.
I will leave the comments section opened, in case you want to comment.
Till next time, stay tuned, and never, never forget:
even if you think life is bad or a mess, always have in mind that it can also be really good and a source of happiness; and I think this is something worth striving for.